The thing that never gone

At the end, the trusting between us is just like GONE. Or it never exist..?
Perhaps there is something still be worth reason for me to stay with her.

I do loves her. And sure now also. But I don't like this love thing is hurting me myself..
Just makes me feel like even a simple love towards a person u have to love is just like a burden, and when it hurts, IT'S REALLY HURTS

And I hate that.

I hates that u just pretend easy, to make me talks to u everything.
I hates that u just pretend u are so that trust on me, but actually u just always don't. Or never....
I hates that u just like to looks around, seek around to get any bad things bad news about me, and tell me that "others" told u, "people" told u, "friends" told u....common, I know most of all is u seek it out..and u never look for my good sides.
And I hates that u always wan me to tell u everything but u are not going to tell everything of u.. For me, I doesn't think it is a FAIR thing.. I was regret to talk to u about this and end up u just continue to creating more lies and lies

U ask me dun be a liar, at least should be a honest people. But how about u?????????
I hate that u always grab out the feeling of me towards u, and end up keep hurting me. How bad are u...
I hate a lot of things that u do on me, did on me, done on me!!!! How cruel are u..
But I never hate u...

And I just always created excuse for everything u done, like u just too care of me, u just love me so that's why......... But not for now anymore, I know I can't hide it anymore, I still have to face the fact...
U just x going to trust me on the beginning....

What a word. "TRUST".

And it just never happen on me, by u..from u..

I hates u always like to "act" pity in front of me..or maybe not..
But I just hate that..
Just please, dun fool me anymore. I don't know how long how much instill can stand for, but I'm very very very very very......terrible tired and hurts now..

I knows a lot of things that u think I could never know. Stop pretending and acting in front of me k..?
Why just u talk nicely, probably with me..?
One more thing, can u just stop yr way of talking that always implied negative thinking toward people/thing to me.. I EXTREMELY HATE IT!!!!!!! And u know what, these make me ignore and almost hate a people for 10years and above!!! How mean u are.....

I just curious what am I inside yr deep part of heart..???
Important ? Or just mean nothing..?

Whatever u done on me, and today finally I willing to facing it.
U just never trust on me. And I just need to do whatever u want me to.
It's just hurts enough for the 1st one, continue with all of yr rules, yr steps..
Just me myself was be an idiot thought that things will be change, it will be change one day...
And I will stop my dreaming thinking from now on...I was clearly know that u just stay with me without trust, never and even.. I make myself very very clear now.. And..it's really hurts.......

You don't lost me, just I lost u forever...

Breakkie Wrap

Tried the McD new luanch Breakkie Wrap with sausage in today early morning. *so surprising I woke and go for breakfast in the 7am++. Teehee

Well, the taste is just.....hmmmm.....taste good! My own opinion lar....not bad at all. Although it looks normal and not special at all (compare with the advertisement photo ╮(╯_╰")╭ the photo is just soo000oo attractive btw!!) , the taste is good among all the breakfast categories *own opinion again*

But I like the wrap, whole oat wrap if I x mistaken filling with the cheeses in eggs and the sausage. Just too bad it is small in size..can't fill up the empty stomach.  LoL. Should try the wrap with chicken one next time. *perhaps I could wake up in the early morning like today + willing to go out for breakfast larr*

Omg. I wasting my time.
Time's to study! Tomorrow 9am exam!!
God bless me. Ti Kong, Guan Yim Ma popi popi

*ps: I love today morning. I wake in the early morning, I go for breakfast, tried the new food, it's taste good. I back to study. Finish a chapter in between one hour. The weather is just good and I selca a "nice" pic with the super effect.  LoL.
I just love this kind of simple life that lights my days =)

and finally!! I back from assignmentsss!!!

but too bad, the final is coming soon :'( what the...

6th Sept start my 1st paper. whoever reading this, bless me pls >.< *begging*

and still the same thing, my last paper still held in the last day since the 1st sem I change to this MK course =.=

why every time also me T.T can't i just have a bit longer break?? *sien* =.=

errmmmm....a lots of feeling wanna share, but just duno which and where to start 1st.

okayy...

1st, I was recall and look back those bloggies that I wrote, I posted.

my mine change *LOL*

but it seem not a good feeling..I was easily to fulfilled my happiness last time..although it was bit easy to get emo, but still "recover" very soon. But now, ermmm, I duno why seem worse than last time :( 

I was easily to get the feeling of happiness just because of a simple small fun thing. may just like I just had a simple lovely breakfast when I wake up in the early morning (ps: before 9.30am har...) or having a nice cake in the early morning/during high tea/hang out with friends bla bla bla.....

but now, I seem like miss a lot of things, breakfast, funny things, the view around me, people around me ( I used to observed people last time >.<) etc.. Every morning, the 1st thing I do is not about breakfast anymore. U know what, it is just looking on the clock and found out how many min left for me to prepare for class or assignment >.< what a lifeless..... seriously, I think I was skip my breakfast since week 3 or 4..and I lost contact with a lovely best friend cause of some stupid thing and people, and also these fcuking, stupid, busiest sem I had ever!!! I totally going out dinner with her only 2 or 3 times in this sem, and usually we will dinner together everyday!!! >.< and now sure our relationship seem a bit broken, at least I felt it there is something change..I lost a lots of her news, her thought, her jokes, things around her...and she's going to move her hostel, I just knew last few days cause of I asking something (forgot what things liao). Last time, I think I'm the Top3 people to know about her things, but now, I think I'm the last.....mayb but not least.. =/

honestly, I really quite down whenever I think about these...although she told me she will feel paisei due to long time no see..I still really dislike this situation anyway... and I had found out even friendship do need maintenance.. but this is definitely right. ='( I hope I'm not going to lost this friend who the 1st one I trust like a family.. I sound like "eating vinegar"-ing..ermmmmm...ya..I think so. and I admit it. cause I love her. *LOL*  I'm not lesbian btw, just take her as my soulsister =P

Next, finally I'm going back to my hometown tomorrow!! Finally!!!

feel yearsssss I x meet my pappa d >.<

hmmm...honestly, I a bit bit miss him ( I think the 1st time ever)

I wan go eat cendol, laksa, seafood, momma's soup, homemade jelly, homemade cake, homemade mooncake, etc.....

But too bad my stomach was not feeling well recently, I think is gastric =( mayb cant eat much things..But it still ok lar, still sweet can be back to my home ^_^ I heard momma said pappa gonna bought me an air-con in my room, but I still feel it is not a necessary cause I feel it still comfort without aircon. and I prefer to get a new phone/laptop instead of air-con lorrr...XD wahahaha!

it's 12am! gonna stop here anyway. TIME TO SLEEP! XD

ps: I gonna enjoy my every single day! hope u too ;)

习惯·坏习惯

不知什么时候开始 就是不怎么喜欢自己的态度、作为、处事方式、习惯...bla bla
感觉上就是【不好】
不够好
不应该这样
不可以那样
不必要酱酱...

但 还就是【这样】=.=

像是现在的状况一样
早上考MUET 7点就已经穿了隐形眼镜
但现在 就是还不去把它脱下来..
就是一种习惯
穿了 就不怎么想脱 尤其我是近千度近视的那位...

明知道不好 明知道不对 还是不改 不去做...

也像现在一样
明知道assignment要赶 要做
却还是不甘愿有那【呕心滴血的专心】的态度
而还在这里呕出自己的心意! >.<

明知道不应该 却还是不理   TMD【犯贱】

很多事情平时只做一半
就拿assignments来讲就好
每每都说要早点做好 早点收工什么的
【放屁】！！
要嘛做一半都没有 要嘛找了资料却不做
—— 吊 ——
读书那方面更不用说了...
重来没有早准备过
现在这些背书背得半条命都没有的更不用说了....

这最后一分钟的态度似乎越来越严重了..........

要到什么时候我才会改呢?
要到什么时候我才真正的知错呢?
要到什么时候我才能优秀点呢?
要到什么时候我才能把这些坏习惯给不习惯呢...?
明知道自己有多么的差 为什么就是不能在反省之后改善呢.???

哼!  不 喜 欢。。。


ps: I HATE ASSIGNMENTS

Sad·ness

Suppose be back hometown this week, but end up nope. And I'm regretting now. I should go back, at least to accompany my momma.. :'(

What assignment, what discussion just a bull shit. I should trust on myself, my heart, my mind and even my feeling!! If I go back and I won't feel like this shit now...

Soon was follow sis go back home when I call him up and she told me, and then sure I call momma and u know what? She was alone in tesco!!wtf. She alone and who carry things for her? And some more Saturday is no plastic day, hw she take?! The worst thing is, she haven't take her dinner yet when I calling her, and it is already 11pm++ almost to 12am d!!!wtmf!! The cipek can't ask him to back another week?! And not even ask her for dinner as they know I x going back this week?! :'/

Just seriously fucking dislike this feeling. Why thing goes like this? It feel sad or even worse...

Momma, so so so so sorry... :'(
I promise u I will go back once I hv 2days free. I promise.. :'(((
Hw I hope I could beside u right now =(

I ❤ u mom :') :'(

And, Miss eu. ❤

The recent...

Life is just like a fool
Most of the time, bad things like to come together
And sure I hate it.

Sometime is work, sometimes is studies
Sometimes is own problem, sometimes is family
Sometimes is friendship, d
Sometimes is love.
But still sometimes is all of the above...

Recently kinda busy for studies, just only week 2 and I have to prepare so many things..hw I shall survive for this semester? :(

Beside, life is cruel. It will force to face the reality no matter how..just except u wanna try to escape it....
I hate myself to be that but I do always >.<

Maybe I have to train myself to be strong in decision making :/

But then, after reading some of the past post..found out that who u love are the important thing. Dun mess up or even ruin yr life. No matter friendship, family or beloved one.. Try your best to love, to understand them..they may leaving u some day..

Precious all the moment :')

Hold it tied to those u loved, especially the one who loved u very much. He/she has no point to love u but they do. It's not their job but they do. It's meaningless but they do. It may not be forever, but do hold them tied and stay with each other(s) until the end..

I don't know will I still have the chance, but I will be precious if I meet.. :)
It is a fate, I trust on it.
When people meet each others, that's a fate.
When people know each others. It is a fate.
When people broke up with the others, it still the fate too.
Sure, when people fall in love, it is totally a fate.

-----------------------------------------

Recently bit fall in love travelling with train
How I wish someday I could travelling around the world, walk by, pass by, drop by..... no matter do it alone or with the love one(s)

It's just a dream might achieve some day :)

Life is awesome, ermm..maybe amazing too.
I was be in the other town few hours ago and now I am in the others place d..

Technologies make these.

-----------------------------------------

Dun able try to change others, no matter mind set, thinking, action and so and so...

Just let everyone to be themselves.

Even me, myself :)

Cheer and build a wonderful life.

It just only once.

污点? hmm

人生难免碰撞是非及小人
但 我怎么都没想到会碰到怎么一个没品的人 还要是男人的说

你说 追女生是用strategy的
我笑笑带过
你甚至说什么都是strategy strategies strategic
我也先一笑而过
再后来给予个人意见
再后来选择了沉默

回去第一条
你都说了 要得到那个女生还不就是strategy而已
都表面了 不必【用心】
而你成功了

试着让你用【心】
但都是多余的
后来放弃了

而你却说你动心了
>吊<

那么的巧
最近意外看见了你曾发给我的一条信息
说道你是"慢热的" "你是爱着的"

那种感觉
hmmm..当时看了或许还会心软
现在知道了你的种种和许许多多
那种感觉
hmmm..除了不屑我还真找不到好听的形容词了

当你从一个不动心 不动情的人身上听到这【爱】字
可想而知 那时多么的虚伪
而你的爱也太便宜了吧

话说后来
结束了
而你也更加的自己再自己
怎么说的更加呢? 我告诉他人说你之前是个怎样怎样的人 而后来却180度转变的也太快了什么什么的
哪知道TMD十个里就有八个告诉我说 【你 原 本 就 是 那 样 的 人 !!!!!!!!!!】
还告诉我之前大家都在背后说与问为什么我会和你在一起
ps: 那时问我的话 我还觉得没什呒。可现在却是觉得十分非常丢脸的笨!!! 操!

话说回去
所以说 你一开始就打算了用那【伪装】【虚伪】的你来接近我
而你也蛮厉害的嘛 可以tahan那么久 *佩服+鼓掌*

这些都不算过分
你批评我 数落我 甚至于挑拨离间 还要批评我家人?!! 你他妈的脑生水了hor?

不过也要感谢你的所做所为
不然也不会有要求证的人来问清楚
不然我也不会知道你真的真的比我知道的还要没品没德

那些相信你的朋友 我亦没必要去纠正了
尤其还是知道大多故事情节的人儿
只能说友情有时也就是如此
虽是心疼 但不强求

对了
你那些加盐加醋加麻油的故事情节
我再想那天我忍不着了 公开了事实 你会怎么样?
哦 还有我还高估了你的品德
那不会尊重他人决定 他人想法 他人隐私的 等等
或许你没有隐私权 但我有 :)

啊 对了对了
还有本日记对吧?
要是有心人想求证事实的话
我倒是不介意公开厚 ;))
因为我想知道那了解真相后的表情和评论

只是烦心忠诚的认为
我实在是没长眼睛 没长脑
一个可以说是没样貌 没本事 没品 自私又自利的人儿 我都看得上眼
实在是蠢得厉害 -.-

我就看你还有什么玩意儿可使 =)
ps: 若是不想让你知道 你永远都找不到 :)